Despite feelings of uncertainty, there are a few tell-tale signs …
You’ve just started a relationship, and you’re excited but uncertain. The biggest question on your mind: is this love? Varied feelings are part of all relationships, whether between friends, family members, colleagues, or acquaintances, and it’s sometimes difficult to distinguish different types of affection. However, when it’s a question of romantic love, identifying the signs can help demystify your emotions. No matter the context, love can strike unexpectedly; this is part of its beauty!
There is at least one good reason to figure out if you’re really in love: understanding your feelings is essential in discerning the next step in your relationship. If you’re still unsure about the nature of your feelings, here are some points to consider:
You’re happy
One of the first feelings to accompany love is fulfilment. If you feel unconditionally cheerful, if problems seem less serious and everything is more beautiful to you, if you feel complete, lacking nothing … there’s a good chance you’re in love!
Your body lets you know
The object of your affection approaches and your cheeks flush, your heart beats a little faster, your palms sweat … Your body is telling you this person is important! According to sexologist Dr. Ghislaine Paris, these symptoms are the result of an increase in hormones such as adrenaline, dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins. Your voice will also change when you are with your beloved: a woman’s voice will rise in pitch, while a man’s voice will deepen. This is part of the physiological chemistry of seduction. Listen to your body!
You dream of the future
Are you already imagining future vacation plans, home decor, wedding details, baby names? If you’re starting to make plans for the future, it might be because this relationship has the potential to last. Whether your partner is a long-time friend or someone you recently met at work, on holidays, through friends or family, online, or even at a religious event, when you start thinking about a future together, you’re probably in love!
Differences don’t bother you
You may be surprised to find yourself falling for someone who is the opposite of what you expected. Maybe you’ve had thoughts of disbelief: “I never imagined it could be him!” Love can overlook differences of age, life circumstances, origin, interests … Love may compel you to revisit some of your criteria for a partner, and make adjustments that would previously have seemed inconceivable.
You’re clumsy
Are you absent-minded, preoccupied, or more clumsy than usual? Love could be the culprit! These little mishaps are in fact signs sent unconsciously to show your beloved the effect he or she has on you. It’s a mixture of anxiety, excitement, and apprehension that makes you knock something over, forget a bag at the store, stutter, or reveal your feelings through a slip of the tongue …
You go above and beyond
What would we not do for love? Love compels us to push the limits of our time and capabilities. For example, if you meet someone on vacation, you might consider a long distance relationship, even if you never thought you wanted one. Going above and beyond happens frequently in love. You become suddenly interested in things that once terrified you, or you develop a skill you didn’t know you had! Love can lead you to discover many new things about yourself!
You feel a subtle fear
You have dreamed of it forever, but the day love knocks at your door, fears well up: fear that it’s too good to be true, fear of vulnerability in giving yourself to another, etc. If despite these concerns, your heart feels peaceful and certain, you’re probably in love. This subtle fear distinguishes real love from a passing relationship. It’s not a fear that confuses and paralyzes you, leaving your heart in chaos; it’s a constructive and stimulating fear, propelling you to rise to the challenge of embracing love.
You try to fight
Last sign on the list, but usually one of the first to appear when love strikes: you try to fight it! “No, I don’t want to fall in love right now, he’s not my type, we’ll waste our time …” When you try to convince those around you that you’re not in love, you are most likely trying to persuade yourself. Deep down, you feel that it’s already too late. You try to set boundaries, to reason with yourself, but truth be told, you already feel swept away by love … isn’t it wonderful?!
Do these signs sound familiar? You must be in love! Savor this sweet feeling and share it with your beloved.
Read more:
Want to fall in love? Skip the small talk, says a psychologist
This article was originally published in the French edition of Aleteia, and has been translated and adapted here for English-speaking readers.
