On the second anniversary of the reversal of Dobbs v. Jackson, the US Supreme Court decision that placed decisions about abortion back in the hands of state legislatures, a brand-new country star was born. Rachel Holt, an 18-year-old singer with a lovely voice, released a powerful new song that was written from the perspective of a baby who was aborted.
It is a grim subject matter, to be sure, but it is the reality faced by hundreds of thousands each year. Pew Research Center estimated that in 2021 alone, nearly 626,000 abortions were performed in the US, with similar figures recorded in 2020 and 2019. The dire need of an alternative to these large numbers presents an underlying urgency behind the beautiful music.
The lyrics of the “I Was Gonna Be” are sung in the first person, with Holt lending her voice to voiceless as she ponders what life would have been like. She sings of falling in love with her mother, learning to dance and laugh, and maybe even changing the world with her life’s contributions. The whole thing is tied together with a wonderful hook in the chorus that continues to play on in the listener’s head after it ends.
Love refused
While the music is powerful, the music video is even more so. While Holt sings of all that might have come from her life, the camera shows children’s toys, toothbrushes, and shoes fading out of existence from her family’s home. The color fades with each item as well, illustrating how dull and dreary a house can become when the invitation of love is not accepted.
Still, all these elements paled in comparison to the final, musical metaphor thrown into the end. Those who have not studied songwriting may not have even caught it, but the final chord of the song is left unresolved. Instead of following the chord progression to its conclusion, she stops at the second to last chord, which leaves the listener hanging in limbo. This might have hit us harder than any other aspect of the song, as it encapsulates the unresolved feelings that many parents must attend to in the wake of an abortion.
This was a remarkable first showing from Holt, whom we are looking forward to hearing more from. While “I Was Gonna Be” is the only song to her credit so far, make sure to follow her YouTube channel so you won’t miss her next release.
