What’s it like going to college with a baby at UMary?

You might have heard of the St. Teresa of Calcutta Community for Mothers, a rather unusual program at the University of Mary in Bismarck, North Dakota. The program is designed to help single moms graduate with their university degrees by providing them with free room, board, and volunteer childcare year-round.

Recently Aleteia shared the news that the program had its first graduate: Katie Chihoski, who walked across the stage with her darling 18-month-old daughter. 

Not surprisingly, the program is attracting young women from faraway states. Six mothers and their babies are expected to participate in the community this fall.

If you’re considering this program for yourself or for someone you love, you might be curious about what daily life is like for the moms in the community. Chihoski shared with Aleteia her “day in the life” experience as a member of the St. Teresa of Calcutta Community for Mothers.

Chihoski was initially nervous about going to university with a baby in tow, but she was pleasantly surprised by the abundant friendship and support she found. She shared this advice: “If I was speaking with someone in a similar situation, I would say not to isolate yourself from your community. Whether you’re living by yourself, with family, or are going to school, there is a community out there waiting to help. You just have to ask.”

Sure enough, one of her favorite parts of being in the program was the friendships made, not only with the other mothers but also with many other friends on campus. Chihoski said her classmates welcomed her and her daughter with open arms.

“At different points, [my classmates] helped me move into the house in Bismarck, helped me ‘meal prep’ for nights I had to cook for myself, and babysat Lucia when I was in class,” Chihoski recalled. 

Most significantly for her, “Throughout these last two years since Lucia was born, they never stopped inviting me to events and gatherings on or off campus.”

The program offers free childcare for the moms, staffed by volunteer babysitters from the campus community, and Chihoski said their help was the most practical support.

“They are mostly freshmen and sophomores who give up a couple hours of their week, or more, to babysit our children,” she said. “I have seen them make time for the kids and even bring them to classes if we are short on babysitters one week. They come into our community willing to help in whatever way they can, and they do it so cheerfully!”

Another thing Chihoski loved about the program was living in community with other moms. Becoming a mother can be very isolating, especially for a young mother having a baby before friends do, so she appreciated the camaraderie and practical help from the other mothers.

The moms each took on one chore or task for the community, and they each babysat once a week. Their group chat was full of invitations “to fun events or just to eat dinner in the cafeteria together.”

She also pointed out that the college students in the St. Teresa of Calcutta Community were not the only moms on campus. Each residence hall at the University of Mary is staffed by a residence director who lives in the building, and a number of these staff members are mothers. 

“These people taught me more about myself than I ever knew. They were encouraging and examples of joyful, sacrificial members of Christ's Church,” she said. 

She said their example inspired her in her vocation as a mom, and the friendships were all the sweeter when their children became friends, too. “The residence directors are beautiful witnesses to living the role of a Catholic wife and mother well,” she said. “Lucia is a similar age to most of the kids on campus, and it has brought so much joy to all us moms when they all play together.”

Time management was the biggest issue Chihoski mentioned facing as a mother and student. “One of the hardest parts of completing my degree was prioritizing Lucia and my studies,” she said.

After some trial and error, she found a solution, which was to save the majority of her homework and studying for after her daughter went to bed. “I knew that going to school with a baby would test my patience, but my life got much simpler when I was determined to focus primarily on Lucia whenever she was awake,” she said.

The other tricky part was that many campus events started around the time that her daughter and the other babies went to sleep, but fortunately it helped to live in a residence hall with lots of other students. “When you live in a dorm, there is almost always someone in their room who can keep an eye on a monitor or listen for any crying babies,” she said.

Chihoski is engaged to be married in October to one of her classmates at University of Mary, and they are looking forward to making a home for their beautiful family in Minnesota.  “I always say that Josh fell in love with Lucia before he fell in love with me, which I had always desired for my future since having Lucia,” she said. 

Chihoski said that joining the St. Teresa of Calcutta Community changed her life for the better. “There are so many parts to this community, opportunities and relationships that I never expected,” she said. “Because of those spearheading this program, I have known so many more blessings. My life has completely turned around within a year, and a large part of it is due to this program and my saying ‘yes’ to trying it.”

This “yes” is what she wants to share with the world. “Whether you are someone able to contribute financially to programs serving vulnerable populations, or you are a vulnerable person looking for the next opportunity, I would encourage you to say yes to God's providence.”